Went for a used books drive today and took soooooo many books!! 32 to be exact!! "What books are these?" I'm sure you are asking right.. Well, 12 of them are "O" Levels related books, the others are storybooks and self-improvement books..
Yup, you didn't see wrongly.. "O" Levels indeed.. "Why now still "O" Levels" you're asking again.. Coz I have plans to retake my "O" Levels next year and then apply as cabin crew in SIA after that!!
"Why so determined?" Coz being a cabin crew (or air-stewardess, I rather call it), is one of the "almost-impossible-thing-happen-to-me-in-my-living-life" just like working in a casino as a Dealer and being a Model. These used to be the "you-think-too-much" industry that when I told my family and friends about them, they look at me like: "What? You? Please la, wake up.." Now, fulfilling some of them made them realized I'm capable too and made them envious that I have the guts to run the extra miles to obtain the impossibles.
Working in a casino as a Dealer and being a Model might seems easy and obtainable to all of you. Do you know how extremely hard it is for me? Imagine a blur simple minded girl so weak in Maths and calculations, going through all the trainings with MBS, having an extremely hard time trying to understand and memorize all the calculations.. I'm so weak in Maths I can't even count 6+7, 8+5, 3+8, 7+5 etc, AND not to mention I have a "special" ability of not being able to see numbers clearly.. For example if you put 8558858585 together, or 6866866868, 5383853853 or 7117177117, or 066060606, or 5335333535, I CAN'T SEE THEM AT ALL~!! I drove all my casino team mates and family members crazy trying so hard to understand everything!! In the end I F**KING OVERCOME IT~!!
And also being a Model. Do you guys know that I suffered Autism before (自闭症) for 2yrs few years ago due to betrayal of 7ys good buddy and family problems? I can't breathe properly when I'm in public, keep having the feeling of someone gonna stab me with a kitchen knife behind me whenever I'm outside, can't communicate nor face anyone straight in the face, scared of people taking my pics, and the feeling of someone peeking at me and planning all the horrible things to do to me etc. It was so serious I almost commit suicide in order to stop all these sufferings. On that last night I decided I had enough, I asked myself how do I want to end all these. It's either end my life, or throw everything away and start anew. Then I thought of all the things I haven't have the chance to go through yet, like marriage, babies, dreams, watching my little bro grow up etc, am I ready to leave? NO!! I decided I am not ready yet, thus I told myself I have to overcome every single thing and pick myself up to live again and here I am!! A confident Model not scared of facing the camera, the public, and able to chat with anyone I wan freely with no boundaries, and no one could ever imagine I suffered Autism before!! Amazing huh!! I can't believe I went through all that!!
So now, here's another amazing "quest" I want to overcome. I never like books. In fact, I hate them and get intimidated by them coz I don't understand them. They seriously scares me alot. I feel I'm being crushed by millions of alphabets. Since Sec 3, I have gave up trying to study and struggled badly for "N" and "O" Levels. I failed terribly as expected. Now, 7ys losing contact with books and words, am I able to pick up studying again? Am I going to leave this world having something to regret? NOOOO~!! I'm gonna overcome the fear of books and retake "O" Levels and APPLY TO BE AN AIR-STEWARDESS~!! My terrible fear of heights and unfamiliar places will be overcome-d next!! If I can overcome so much in my life, I CAN FREAKING OVERCOME ALL THESE~!!
I'm sure all of you will be supportive and happy for me. My purpose of sharing all these here on my blog? Is to let you all know: If a weak little simple naive girl like me can overcome so much and obtained so many "impossibles" in my life, why not YOU? 加油!! Don't ever allow yourself to leave this world with regret!! Good Luck!! *wink*